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Moving on

Phuket was just too hot. We'd spend all day hiding in our hotel room, watching TV and chasing after Logan. We'd go out for dinner once the sun went down, and then head back to the hotel and get ready for bed. Phuket in high season is fine for night life, scuba diving, and roasting away on the beach, but none of these activities work well with a lilly-white two year-old in tow.

We moved from Kata, to Patong Beach, and finally to Puket Town, where Lara suffered from stomach flu and pink eye in relative luxury. We stayed in two of the nicer hotels in town; the Phuket Royal City and the Metropole. They were okay, but it was a lot of money to spend so Lara could lie in bed watching the Discovery Channel and I could sit and play Alpha Centari on my laptop. I tried working on comics, but with Logan in close proximity, it just wasn't happening.

Now we're in Chiang Mai. The weather is much more agreeable to our constitutions here. Lara is going to have some dental work done. That should take a month or so, and then we're off to Perth, Australia to present Logan to another set of great-grandparents.

Here are a few Thailand moments presented in no particular thematic or chronological order:

Getting Thai massage for back pain and trading one kind of pain for another. I feel uniformly bruised.

Getting oil massage and apparently not understanding the rules of the game. My masseuse got pissy when I didn't opt for the Special Special massage.

A sumptuous meal obtained on the street for 200 baht.

Expensive yet lackluster room-service meals in supposed 5-star hotels.

Stepping outside my bubble of air con protection and instantly feeling that tingly sensation in the skin that alerts me to the damaging effects of the sun's rays.

Walking two blocks at 8 in the morning and finding my shirt plastered to my body.

Dogs. Dogs everywhere. Dogs with mange. Dogs whose crushed limbs should have been amputated but weren't. Skinny dogs with huge, engorged, dangly teats. Fluffy, well-groomed dogs in fancy collars.

Whole families on motorcycles. Babies asleep on moving motor cycles. Beautiful Thai limbs marred by the scars of yesterday's road rash.

Power lines in huge bundles, haphazardly strung and dangling low enough for a tall farang to reach up and grab a handful of death.

Ramshackle houses build from scrap lumber, corregated sheet metal roofs, adorned by satalite dishes.

An elderly farang getting in a few last pats and carresses, then practically dry-humping his Thai lady before relinquishing her company at the Phuket Airport.

Lean, tan, shirtless, tattooed farangs who look like male models riding their motorcycles around Patong Beach with their Thai ladies on the back.

A young Thai lady who looked to be about 15 and weighing in around 85 pounds riding a motor cycle with a shirtless white guy three times her size sitting behind her, holding her waste, going where she ferried him.

Cell phones everywhere. People still bandy about the old saw, "Half the world's population has never made a phone call." That hasn't been true in quite some time.

Our mahout climbing down off the elephant with my digital camera to take a few snapshots for us while directing the elephant with voice commands only. He knew his way around a digital camera and didn't ask me a single question.

Me drinking way too much and challenging a Thai boxer at the Vegas bar to a few rounds and him having the good sense to put me off.

Logan proving a royal pain in the backside on both legs of our flight from Phuket to Chiang Mai.

And more than I will relate here at the Millenium Internet Cafe this evening.

Take care, all.

-KMO

Comments

( 5 comments — Leave a comment )
sgnp
Nov. 11th, 2002 11:03 am (UTC)
Typo Poetry
One word off makes this sentence dark and dirty:

"A young Thai lady who looked to be about 15 and weighing in around 85 pounds riding a motor cycle with a shirtless white guy three times her size sitting behind her, holding her waste, going where she ferried him."

You very much should be writing a book right now, if you are not already.
kmo
Nov. 12th, 2002 04:17 am (UTC)
Re: Typo Poetry
One word off makes this sentence dark and dirty

Maybe it's the pink eye, but I don't see the typo. Which word makes it dark and dirty?

Thanks, by the way, for what I take as a compliment.
sgnp
Nov. 12th, 2002 09:23 am (UTC)
Re: Typo Poetry
Waist = middle of the body, which one would hold when riding behind someone on a motor cycle.

Waste = organic by-product of the digestive and excretory systems. You don't REALLY want to hold someone else's waste.

I'm serious about the book thing. Your write well and are doing something that others find interesting.
carocrow
Nov. 11th, 2002 02:40 pm (UTC)
Your travelogue has been enlightening, amusing and generally delightful. Thank you for sharing your journey. Hope you and yours are well. Bless your travels.
kmo
Nov. 12th, 2002 04:21 am (UTC)
travelogue
Thank you.
( 5 comments — Leave a comment )

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