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I don't buy many presents or actively celebrate holidays. I don't make a philosophy out of not celebrating. I tend to just watch holidays drift by.

Birthdays usually mean a meal in a nice restaurant or a weekend trip somewhere. I wouldn't dream of trying to pick out clothing for Lara, and I don't buy or wear jewelery, so I generally draw a blank when it comes to birthday presents for Lara. She turned 29 a few weeks ago, and we went shopping together. She picked out a couple of garments and I "bought" them, which is to say that I handed the bank card to the clerk rather than Lara doing it. The money comes from the same place in either case, so it seems like a farce to view those items as "presents" from me to her, but it beats not playing the game at all.

Christmas seems like something to take up again when Logan is old enough to appreciate it, but for now, it just doesn't seem to involve me. I see it as a children's holiday, and while I may be a child of the universe, I'm not a child. (Don't think I'm being morose by saying that I've outgrown Christmas. I like being an adult, and aside from the fantasy of starting over with a fresh young body and doing a better job of keeping it fit and avoiding injury, I don't want to be a child.)

In my 20s, I generally took a pretty cynical attitude toward Valentine's Day, possibly because I had no girlfriend most times that holiday rolled around. I've left that particular brand of cynicism behind. Now, I just let the day roll by like Labor Day, President's Day, Veteran's Day, Independence Day and Halloween. I never presented Lara with flowers, or candy, or any other present on Valentine's Day.

Until yesterday.

Yesterday, I was out running errands, and I found myself parked in front of a flower store. I popped in and bought an arrangement of peach-colored roses and a bottle of champagne for Lara. As I approached our front door with the flowers, I anticipated a shared laugh and a few joking comments about me being out of character or something along those lines.

Lara cried.

That took me by surprise.


( 4 comments — Leave a comment )
Feb. 15th, 2003 08:36 am (UTC)
i think it's easy to miss how much little things like that can mean a lot to a person, even if they aren't really into the holiday. the thoughtfullness is what matters.
Feb. 15th, 2003 09:07 am (UTC)
Very true and worth keeping in mind.
Feb. 15th, 2003 09:43 am (UTC)
I agree. An unexpected token of love can totally make me cry too. :-) Nature? Nuture? No idea, but it works. :-)

Until I met my husband, I didn't really believe, "It's the thought that counts," but now I find that *his* thoughts definitely count with me. He has demonstrated over and over that he can make me feel really loved with the simplest gestures. They are important to me, because they come from him.

I don't even know you guys, and it makes me happy to know you gave your wife flowers. Yep. I'm a sap. :-)

Feb. 15th, 2003 09:16 am (UTC)
I think it is the earnestness and unpredictability that makes a gift valuable to me; expectation seems to ruin the spontaneity of life and the meaning of giving.

I'm glad Lara was surprised. And that you were, too.
( 4 comments — Leave a comment )

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